Let’s get this straight, so to speak. I like my Abba songs to be performed by Abba. I also happen to think that (setting aside Abba: The Movie) Muriel’s Wedding was the last statement in Abba films. Forget the misogynist monster that was Priscilla, with its hackneyed old drag queen lines. When Muriel became Mariel and declared that her life was better than Dancing Queen, every Abba fan who ever suffered for their passion knew exactly what she meant.

Abba are forever relegated to the realm of the ridiculous in Australia, thanks to the institution that made them, betrayed them and slayed them: the media. Their whole career in this country is condensed into two short years at the tail-end of the glam rock era, during which they were hoisted onto a pedestal, exploited without mercy (Ring Ring anyone?) and dumped in the rubbish bin like yesterday’s leftovers. Thus we endure excruciating, endlessly repackaged TV “specials” featuring the pathetic celebretoid nobodies of channels Seven and Nine regurgitating stupid urban myths (Abba made more money than Volvo, “Anna” won an award for having Europe’s sexiest bum…) and incapable of telling Agnetha from Frida, or Benny from Bjorn.

As a consequence of all that, Australians are largely unfamiliar with many songs in Mamma Mia! The Movie, which were created in the second half of their career. They wonder why Ring Ring and Rock Me are missing, hum along to the Nordic oompah oompah of Super Trouper and have never heard of anything as sophisticated or grown up as Slipping Through My Fingers or When All is Said and Done.

It annoys me a bit that people who thought Abba were criminally uncool when they were around, and even more so during the late Eighties, suddenly pretend they’ve always harboured a secret admiration for them. Perhaps they did and were too cowardly to admit it at the time because it was social death. Well, tough. It’s too late now to make amends, so don’t try to jump on the bandwagon. It’s overcrowded. Feel free to go back to sneering for the time being.

These days Benny and Bjorn themselves are almost disparaging of Abba, something that especially infuriates those hardcore Muriels who live in desperate hope of a reunion, longing for life to become Dancing Queen again. It’s as though B&B feel their considerable achievements since are always overshadowed by Abba, so they need to talk down their creative peak. Hopefully they’ll eventually come around to realising how foolish that is. Comparing Mamma Mia to the Abba catalogue is like holding up the 1978 film of Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band as a candle to the Beatles. No amount of tickets sold to Mamma Mia, stage show or movie, will ever amount to as little as the plaintive “aha” in Knowing Me, Knowing You, let alone the opening piano salvo on SOS. No, seriously.

So, the movie… Look, Mamma Mia is not exactly a chick flick. It’s a chick and gay guy plus the odd lesbian flick. So that should tell you something. Straight men, however metrosexual, would rather gnaw their own limbs off than sit through this. You’ve been warned.

Since I smiled all the way through, laughed a lot and barely cringed, I suppose I must have enjoyed it. The setting is magical, the cast more than up to the challenge, the pacing just perfect and some of the songs beautifully rendered. Meryl Streep’s Slipping Through My Fingers brought a tear to my eye, as did just about everything sung by Pierce Brosnan, though for quite different reasons. The Winner Takes it All was obscenely over the top, even without a touch of blue eye shadow anywhere, but surely it was always meant that way.

The quintessential Dancing Queen was as fresh and summery as the day it was released. Of course it was, because it’s still Benny Anderson’s baby and he produced it all over again, with all the love and affection and real strings that money and time can buy. Little wonder he chose that ode to the joy of music in which to make a cameo appearance playing the chiming piano part. If you didn't feel cheerful walking out of Mamma Mia! The Movie you need to see your therapist.

The thing that bothers me is that the list of Abba classics in Mamma Mia! The Movie adds up to something less than the number of tracks on the zillion-selling Abba Gold, which leaves an awful lot of songs on More Gold and assorted albums unused. And we all know what Hollywood is like when it comes to milking the success of hit movies. Can you hear the drums, Fernando…

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